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13-Oct-2017 04:25

To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).

There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.

A man casually leaned over to a girl who’d walked across from the opposite carriage and asked, “Have you had lunch?

” She looked slightly taken aback (hardly surprising, considering there was absolutely no preamble) and said “Pardon?

Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.Girls chatting up men (simply because of the relative novelty of the situation) are almost guaranteed a cheerful refusal at the very least…But the prospect of rejection is much greater for chaps who are attempting to break the ice with someone whose evening has already been interrupted by aspiring Romeos.Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

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Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.

Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.



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